What is wrong with Gov. Brian Sandoval? Can anybody tell me?
We’re starting to wonder if he’s in over his head — I guess leaving that lifetime appointment to the federal bench to shill for casinos and foreign mining companies isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Like a number of our fellow Pahrumpkins, we’ve been trying desperately to reach the governor. We need answers, so that you have some answers. To no avail, of course, because us lil people apparently don’t mean much to the  big guy in Carson City.
What have we and everybody else been calling for, you ask?
Well, there’s this pesky vacancy in the body that governs our dusty lil town here. It’s been seven months since Carolene Endersby fled Southern Nevada (for better governed pastures to be sure), leaving her seat to go cold waiting for Sandoval to name a replacement.
The town board may be going through some fundamental changes here soon, thanks to some county commissioners who think they need more control than they already have. But, until after Nov. 6 — and it ain’t a sure thing that this town board is going anywhere anytime soon given the lawsuits that are flying — this board is an integral part of local government. Having just four serving members means any number of issues could be deadlocked. Also, five board members mean five perspectives on complex issues affecting our community — five heads are better than four.
But Sandoval won’t make the appointment. Seven months is a ridiculous time span to wait. It’s absurd. And we’ve been nice and patient like everyone else.
The governor won’t return our phone calls — not such a big deal really — but more troubling, he won’t return ANYBODY’S phone calls, at least as it pertains to filling this vacancy on the town board.
That’s wacko. Except for being an incompetent chief executive, what is he doing?
I have some theories — but since nobody will talk to us, they’re nothing more than my own ruminations on the subject.
Theory 1 is that Sandoval simply hates Pahrump. He could care less about us and our town board what with so many other pressing issues in Nevada that require his attention. Joblessness, the foreclosure crisis, school funding, keeping taxes low for gold diggers, money lenders and casino owners — keeping all those strings from getting tangled that run from his body to Steve Wynn and Sheldon Adelson’s front doors is tedious work.
Theory 2 is more conspiratorial. It goes like this: Sandoval was contacted by certain county commissioners and told that this town board, criminals and knit-wits as they are, were destined for the junk heap of history, and that wasting a political appointment to a board that would soon be out of business would just be a waste of time. The theory is Sandoval listened, and agreed.
Theory 3 is much less conspiratorial. Perhaps B.S. simply wants to see who earns runner-up status come Nov. 6 — there’s a four-way race for two seats on the board — and he is just waiting to appoint this third person to the open seat.
Theory 3 only makes sense though if the man would just return our phone calls and say as much. What harm could that do.
Being unresponsive suggests something else, re: theories 1 and/or 2.
Whatever theory is close to correct doesn’t really matter. Waiting seven months to perform the duties voters here elected you to perform is simply crazy.
Since you won’t call us back governor, we’re here to let your boss(es) know what a lousy job we think you’re doing, at least for us Pahrumpkins.
So, pretty please, with a cherry on top, hurry up already.

Is Albertsons closing?
At least Supervalu, owner of about 2,500 grocery stores and other retail outlets throughout the country, will return a phone call.
Unfortunately, getting some straightforward answers about the future of our local Albertsons store is like getting a straight answer from Gov. Brian Sandoval — a duck at the Calvada Eye might prove more informative.
For months now we’ve been hearing rumors that Albertsons is closing or that Supervalu, the parent company of Albertsons, is selling the chain to another large grocery outfit. The rumors reached such a crescendo — and people who actually work at Albertsons here have about as much insight into this as that duck I was talking about — that we finally called someone at corporate headquarters to get an answer.
Here’s what we got: 38 Albertsons are closing, but they are mostly in Southern California. There are eight slated to close in the “intermountain west region,” whatever that means, and three of those have not been named because of contract issues.
A spokesman for Supervalu didn’t say that Pahrump’s Albertsons was one of those, but he did confirm that the viability of entire Albertsons portfolio is under review. When asked about when that review would wrap up, we were told that it was an open-ended review — when frankly means, we’re not going to tell you. Asked whether Supervalu was in any negotiations with any competitor to sell some of its Albertsons locations, the spokesperson said he couldn’t talk about that.
Asked whether local employees on the ground had any better information, the spokesman said that the company’s employees are purposely being kept in the dark (hence the source of so many rumors!) until after the company’s review is complete.
Finally, when asked if his college roommate happened to be a man named Brian Sandoval, the spokesman hung up on me. So much for the communcation age.

Nye County Municipal Golf Course
Hold your noses, that stench coming off Willow Creek today isn’t the dirty ponds, it’s the latest political manure being used to fertilize a deal to “give” (with strings attached) Willow Creek to the community.
At least that’s what the Mirror reported Thursday (red flag alert, red flag alert!)
I had more written on this — we heard the same story two weeks ago that the Mirror did, but apparently the players felt that publication was a better location to unveil their plans. How telling.
I’m going to bite my tongue, just this once. (Mostly because I would really love something, anything positive to be done about Willow Creek).
But I also wanna see who does what first. Until then, this will be the only mention of Willow Creek in these pages until we’re more comfortable that the players in this scenario aren’t total crooks. Or until I call for the county to condemn the course, again. Until then, good golfing!