Have you ever stumbled across a Pahrump Valley Times classified ad that made you shake your head or burst out laughing?
It could’ve been submitted by W.T. “Smitty” Smith.
Smitty pays cash (in-person) for one or two classified ads per month to advance his long-time salvage yard empire. Not by accident, but by careful design, he expresses disdain about his “chintzy” treasure-seeking customers, and his sparse roster of temp workers.
His classifieds range from patronizing to baldly antagonistic, but they’re all fun ads to read.
His most blunt ads are typically crafted on Mondays, after long weekends fielding inquiries from prospective buyers and “irritating customers.”
Some examples:
- “Nothing for scrapwhore prices,” (12/15/2013)
- “Cheap -Not Free” (08/07/2015)
- “By appt. only. Two at a time. No gate callers.” (04/17/2020)
Pahrump beginnings
Smitty moved to Pahrump in 1997 after living and working in Las Vegas. He’s worked salvage yards for five decades and conducts marketing through classified ads, dictated over his sketchy old cell phone to newspaper clerks, and reliably paid in full before deadline in person at the PVT office counter in cash — none of this credit or debit card nonsense.
He has never revealed his physical address to the Pahrump Valley Times and instead uses an anonymous post office box.
Want the location of Smitty’s salvage yard? You must first pass a telephone interview with him as a “serious buyer only.”
Website? Don’t even think about it.
‘Great for thieves’
Smitty is sometimes polite and professional, but frequently his claws come out in his classifieds.
In November 2014, he advertised in the PVT a 7’ x 9’ dump trailer for sale, describing it as “great for thieves,” followed by the vague price of “$1,900, or $900 if you build it.”
The vehicles, trailers and equipment he flips all need some work. They’re projects, for capable, hard-working people like himself. He might clean them up some, or repair some aspect if he can discern a good return on his investment, but his “for sale” ads often contain sobering warnings such as “nothing new, turnkey or free” — or “if you are cheap, broke, or lazy, don’t waste my time.”
The ads sometimes require familiarity with mechanical and automotive lexicons to discern the value of his offerings.
In an ad for a trailer, he mentioned a “headache rack.”
(Google “headache rack” and you’ll learn that it’s a protective railing which prevents hauled items from accidentally sliding into the truck cab through the rear cab window.)
Scrappy spice, and not always nice
Smitty will freely and proudly tell you that he dropped out of school after third grade.
He’s a scrappy older guy now, who lost a leg to diabetes somewhere along the way. It doesn’t stop him from working hard every single day in his salvage yard in the desert, and he expects no less from from the day laborers he employs there.
Smitty also takes out classifieds in the PVT to find workers for his salvage yard:
- “Leave clear, phone voice message. You get one no-show (that’s all).” (04/13/2018)
- “Helper wanted. Temporary for now. More if reliable (ha).” (04/27/2018)
- “Cash when you work.” (10/26/2018)
- “Paid daily (if you work). The phone stays in your vehicle!!! Leave a slow, clear message anytime.” (05/10/2019)
- “No big money. Valuable experience & knowledge sharing. Leave mouth message only.” (01/24/2020).
- “HELPER WANTED Just an all around helper. No high collar engineers or rocket scientists.” (01/08/2021)
- “Looking for a WORKER. Cell phone stays in your vehicle while working.” (05/14/2021)
- “WEED PERSON WANTED. 3 to 4 hours at a time. Then we start the fun work. Must have at least 3rd-grade education.” (05/05/2023)
- “Cash job, plus knowledge you can’t buy anywhere. One no-show, and you are gone.” (05/26/2023)
- “Cash job w/bonuses. Lazy no-shows, don’t bother me.” (07/28/2023)
- “If you can’t turn a wrench, don’t waste my time.” (02/07/2024)
Smitty’s empire could be yours
This April, Smitty announced in a PVT classified that he is “closing, quitting and leaving” his longtime operations in Pahrump:
- CORNER LOT, 1 1/4 ACRES: Fenced, power, well, septic. 12 x 50 single-wide. (Shabby but livable). $30,000 in trucks, vans, trailers, fabricating steel, tools, machines, and more. Mechanic/Metalworker. Cleaning up to move. Sell materials and/or property. Working man’s dream. 775-751-8571.
Smitty says he plans to liquidate, and move somewhere with cooler temperatures and fewer humans.
If you’re ready to take on Smitty’s empire of junk, and you’re a serious buyer give him a call.
But if you’re cheap, broke or lazy? Don’t waste his time.
Email Faye Burdzinski at fburdzinski@pvtimes.com.