“Some of the most severe wounds sustained during combat are invisible.”
That profound remark came from local resident Patty Grubbs, author of the book, Life Through His Eyes, a personal account of a woman whose husband suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD), long after his military career ended.
PTSD is a mental health condition triggered by a terrifying event, either experiencing it or witnessing it.
The symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
Tragically, those who do not seek treatment and therapy sometimes end up taking their own lives. The mortality rate from these instances is alarming.
According to a study published early last year by the Department of Veteran Affairs, an average of 22 veterans kill themselves each day.
Additionally, the VA found people in that age group account for 69 percent of veteran suicides.
Patty’s husband of more than 30 years, David Grubbs, was a highly decorated U.S. Army Sgt., who served during the height of the Vietnam War.
In October of 1967, Grubbs received the Army’s Commendation Medal for Heroism.
Grubbs served in the army’s Company “A” 2nd Battalion’s 12th Calvary.
On August 21st of that year Grubbs was recognized by army command, for heroism in connection with military operations against a hostile force, in Vietnam’s Suoi Ca Valley.
“While serving as a rifleman during a search and destroy mission, Specialist Four, Grubbs distinguished himself by heroism. Disregarding his own safety, assisted in clearing a landing zone for medical evacuation helicopters,” the commendation stated. “He moved through the exposed area carrying wounded soldiers to the landing zone and assisted with the loading of the wounded men aboard the medical helicopters,” the commendation read in part.
Additionally, Grubbs was bestowed with the Army’s Bronze Star, three Purple Heart medals, as well as an Air Assault medal during his tour of duty.
He was wounded at least three times during combat tours.
As described in her book, Patty had known Grubbs previously through mutual acquaintances, and as fate would have it, they got married in 1975, in Crown Point, Indiana, where they lived a seemingly happy life together.
Not long afterwards, she noticed a change in her husband’s behavior.
Grubbs said during visits with friends, her husband would just exit the room and disappear with no explanation.
On one evening, while watching television movies, Patty said her husband would begin crying for seemingly no reason at all, while at other times she said he would display a short temper.
“Loud noises and crying babies,” … she wrote, would trigger Grubbs’ behavior.
In one passage of her book, she recalled the time when friends surreptitiously set off firecrackers during an outdoor party.
“I thought he was going to have heart failure,” she wrote. “He jumped so high out of his chair. Since no one at the party had been at war, they just laughed it off as a funny prank. I knew better and started to watch him more closely what might bother him.”
Grubbs said her husband rarely talked to her about his time in Vietnam, nor did he want his medals displayed in their home.
“In his mind, people would hate him for being part of a war we should have won,” she wrote. No one said ‘welcome home’ or thank you for your service. All they said was how bad they were.”
Grubbs said her husband eventually sought treatment at a Las Vegas veterans’ center where he spoke one-on-one with counselors and participated in group sessions, which proved to be therapeutic for him.
“I took him every week and he started to feel comfortable with the guys and he started to develop some sort of bond,” she recalled. “That group of guys got broken up and he was put into a new group. It was just not the same.”
Grubbs said she and her husband also began attending church regularly.
“We met some wonderful people and much to my surprise, he wanted to learn more. It was a shock, but a great one.” she said.
Grubbs, over the years, resigned herself to the fact that her husband would never recover from PTSD, but both were trying make the disorder, less controlling on their lives.
The couple was so close, even Grubbs herself admitted to developing some of the characteristics of her husband, whenever she was spooked by a loud noise or crying babies.
Both did their best to persevere.
Grubbs wrote her book more than five years ago and has since received numerous testimonials from those who have read it and recommend it to others.
In fact, former Veterans Affairs Secretary Eric Shinseki wrote her a letter of appreciation for the book.
In the final chapter of her book, Grubbs noted how thankful she was for all of the blessings in her life up to that point.
“I realize I am fortunate enough to have two great step-kids, a lovely daughter-in-law, a terrific son-in-law and five grandchildren with another on the way,” Grubbs wrote. “Our life continues, hopefully, with healing and hope for the future. If you remember nothing else from this book, take this one sentence and remember it.”
“Our greatest strength comes from our biggest weakness.”
Grubbs’ words now have a prophetic tone at this time, as she is now relying on that strength along with surviving family members to carry on with their respective lives.
David Grubbs’ struggle with PTSD came to an end last month on Sunday morning, October 26, while at home. With his wife a few feet away, he took his own life.
He was an active member of the Pahrump Disabled American Veterans, the VFW, and the Pahrump Valley 4-Wheelers.
Additionally, Grubbs was an ambassador for Valley Electric Association and participated in community events sponsored by KNYE radio, Symphony Animal Foundation, as well as the Pahrump Fall Festival.
Since day one, all proceeds from the sales of Patty Grubbs’ book go directly to the local Disabled American Veterans organization.
Copies can be purchased at amazon.com.
Services for Grubbs will be held Sunday Nov. 9, at 10:30 a.m., at St. Therese Mission, 881 Old Spanish Trail Highway in Tecopa, Ca., off Highway 160.
The Department of Veterans Affairs provides a confidential toll-free hotline, online chat, or text for veterans through a Veterans Crisis Line.
Veterans and their loved ones can call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, chat online, or send a text message to 838255 to receive confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.