71°F
weather icon Windy

Where to find the hidden cost of ‘FREE’

The quote “There’s a sucker born every minute,” has long been attributed to P.T. Barnum, however, it’s now known that he was not the true originator of those sentiments. No matter the source, the world is indeed full of suckers who believe in the credo that “free” really exists … and crooks who feast on the pocketbooks of those who believe somebody actually wants to give them something for nothing.

Misleading advertising, also known as creative marketing, perpetuates the whole FREE thing. There’s a very thin line between fraud (“gain through misrepresentation”) and the following situations. I am not suggesting any criminal behavior by the perpetrators. I am suggesting vacant promises and misleading statements. And today’s column is for no other reason than to point out the need for consumers to tread very lightly when they see that “F” word and to think beyond the four letters when they place an order.

250 BUSINESS CARDS FREE

Will this major national company give you 250 FREE business cards? Yup, sure will. But note that you cannot pick them up (even if you lived right next door to their print facilities) — you must pay shipping and handling fees that place the true cost of the cards much higher than “free.”

$300 OF BEAUTY CARE PRODUCTS ABSOLUTELY FREE

Samples of multiple products ARE free. The cost will be transferred via shipping and handling … and … the small print you agree to when you order. Always read ALL small print carefully. In this case, you have just agreed to an ongoing contract where you will receive additional products monthly (or quarterly or whatever) that are anything but free.

RECEIVE THIS FOUR CUP ELECTRIC COFFEE POT FREE!

Same gig, different prize. In this case, after you receive your free coffee pot with your first order, you’ll get continuing boxes of coffee, at significant charge to more than cover the pot, until they come out of your ears.

FREE (fill-in-the-blank) AUTOMOTIVE CHECK

It’s amazing how these folks always find something that must be repaired. “Mrs. Smith, look at this wire. Your car could catch fire and blow up at any second. We can replace these wires and have you safely back on the road in less than an hour. Your life is worth $395, isn’t it?”

FREE (fill-in-the-blank) MEDICAL, DENTAL or CHIROPRACTIC CHECK

Again, same gig. “Mr. Smith, you have three areas of beginning decay and this one back here is set to explode in the next 24 hours.” Or “Mrs. Smith, I’d like to rule out paracysticmayoinfractivemyopiccarditis. Just give us your insurance information and it will all be covered.” If the practitioner needs to make a Porsche payment, the words pre-cancerous might get added.

FREE $100 GIFT CARD

And all you have to do is listen to a two-hour, hardcore sales pitch and then get mercilessly hammered by a “closer” for a time share that you neither want or need. If you find yourself victim to this, repeat these words like a mantra. “I am not interested. I am not interested.” With luck, you’ll crawl out of the door alive.

Once again, readers. There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch. True FREE is without profit and all business survives on profit — so “free” isn’t free.

Drop by the Pahrump Valley Times offices, 2160 E. Calvada Blvd., for a copy of Leslie Kim’s latest book “123 Main Street … the Scamming of America.” Only $19.95 while supplies last.

Don't miss the big stories. Like us on Facebook.
THE LATEST
Beatty Clinic gets tons of help with new a/c

BEATTY — The Beatty Foundation, an affiliate of AngloGold-Ashanti (AGA), did tons of good at the Beatty Clinic on March 22. Nine tons, exactly.

How an injured and abandoned dog in Pahrump overcame the odds

A stray dog that was homeless, hospitalized and facing euthanasia earlier this month is now on the mend thanks to several in the community who helped raise thousands for its life-saving care.

End of an era: 50-year-old Beatty business closing

Owner Jane Cottonwood, who made ribbons, trophies and awards for organizations all over the country, plans to retire and close her shop at the end of February.

PHOTOS: How Pahrump helped dozens facing homelessness

Every three months, the Community Crisis Intervention Committee puts together the Homeless Wraparound, quarterly happenings geared specifically toward serving those experiencing homelessness in Pahrump.

PHOTOS: Wild horses come home for the holidays

The wild horse herds that were removed from the Pahrump Valley earlier this year are finally home, and just in time for Christmas. Here’s how the community came together and made it happen.

Community Christmas Dinner set for Dec. 23

Christmas is just around the corner and it’s all hands on deck for the Pahrump Holiday Task Force as the nonprofit prepares to celebrate the season with the entire community.

A night of cookies with Santa

This past Saturday, the valley was invited to enjoy some cookies with Santa and dozens of families turned out for an evening filled with festive fun.