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Let Me Help: An advice column from a streetwise woman who’s been through some things

I have a girlfriend who is only 15 and pregnant. She is so scared of telling her parents. What do I do?

You are not alone. Many times this happens and fear can really hurt. If you can go to your gram or your parents’ best friend, maybe a aunt that you look up to. Ask them to be with you both when you tell them. There will be tears or anger, but that’s just a moment. Then all of you will discuss what options you have.

Don’t fear — this is a miracle. It won’t ruin your life. Trust your heart and your parents’ decision, but always remember you’re their baby too.

Good luck. But remember, this is only my opinion.

My heart is empty. I lost my mother and the tears keep flowing. People try to help — they say if you need me call. Some say get over it, she’s in a better place. Well that’s not what I need!

Can you help me? I am in my 50s and we did everything together. She was my best friend and always helped me in all my good times and bad. I still go to the phone to call her, then I cry. Yes, I have friends but they are not mom!

Well, let’s wipe away your tears for now. She is not gone, she will always be with you. Everything you learned from her or the silly things you two laughed at — she is still laughing with you. Make or bake something.

Most of all, she is now not in pain. Look for the signs: have an open heart, you might smell her perfume or hear her footsteps. She is with you forever. People say, “Oh you are losing it.” You are not.

I had to make a decision to sell my home and move on so I talked to my brother to guide me! I miss him so much. He was always protecting me, but he was gone two years already. There it was, I smelled his cigar smoke. I turned on the light and there it was. So yes, I moved — best thing I did.

Next best thing I did was to marry my husband of 23 years. So wipe your tears and welcome her in your dreams, it helps.

Please help me! I am an unwanted mom. My daughter hates me. My son is his own boss with a temper that scares me. Who knows where their father is. People give me all kinds of advice but they don’t live here.

Well mom — your house, your rules. If they are over 18, there’s the door if they don’t pay you rent. They are not your boss. As far as them hating you, play the take-away game. If you pay for the phones, take them back.

Yes, they will say they hate you. Then you take the cable out of their room, then forbid any of their friends over. Don’t buy them clothes or treats, or pop, it’s your house.

Plus, if they don’t like what you cook, too bad — there is the door! If her hair is pink or blue, who pays for it? You can refuse to be seen with her if it’s bad.

In short, stop giving and GET respect back. I know it’s hard. Go out, sit on the bench, ask them to join you. Tell them you will respect them as soon as they respect you. And what would your grandparents say if you told them you hated them? A lot! Good luck, be strong. It is not easy. Play the take-away game. They will have more respect for you, and you will have more for them.

I worked with juveniles, it’s not easy. They are not scared of you, So now it’s time you stand up for yourself and you will be proud of yourself. But remember this is only my opinion — even try one thing, it might help!

Well, that’s it for this week. No, I don’t have a degree but I have experienced a lot in my life from divorce, car accident, and losing someone. If I can help even just one person it’s worth it to me, and you.

Ann Marie Kristen Noha is a resident of Pahrump. This is her debut advice column for the Pahrump Valley Times. Contact her with your questions at anmano3@outlook.com.

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