Let Me Help: Advice from a streetwise woman in Pahrump who’s seen a few things

I have never brought this subject to my mom or friends. I am a teen who is so embarrassed that I hate going out with them. My mom is a single parent. She really tries hard, but can’t keep up with styles that are popular. So a lot of teenagers have all the popular clothes, shoes, purses. I only carry a wallet most of the time and I hide that, too. What can I do, Castle Annie?

Well, you are wearing clothes that your mom can afford. So, in my opinion, I suggest you and your mom go to every thrift store around, make a day of it or a couple hours a week. There are some great deals out there, including name-brand clothes. People buy them and wear them once — or never even wear them at all before donating them.

I know one woman who found a Gucci purse at a thrift store. It had a broken zipper but she had it fixed and no one ever knew. The main thing is: If your friends don’t care what you have on, those are the ones to keep. You can take anything and spruce it up with a scarf or inexpensive jewelry. Go for it!

I have seen people come out of thrift stores with shopping carts full on Saturday’s deal days.

I make plans, and immediately I regret them. “Sure! Come on over Saturday night.”

“Yes! Come visit Nevada the third week of March! We would love to have you stay!”

“Come on over for a bonfire. We’ll barbeque.”

“Go into the city for a show on April-whatever? Sure.”

What’s wrong with me? Years ago, I broke up with a friend because she kept making plans for me and my husband. She kept giving us gifts too, which I found problematic. They had so much more money than us. We could never reciprocate. Now my son is due to arrive in a few days. I’m so nervous, and beginning to work myself into my usual state — cleaning, cooking, buying, stressing out, and fussing. Why does making plans give me so much anxiety?

Well girlfriend, you are not alone! Been there and done that too many times. Write your anxieties about making plans down in a letter, then put in a drawer.

If you feel like you can’t take the stress anymore, then mail it to share your feelings with those you love. Sometime you will regret it, but it’s going to make you feel better just by writing it down.

You first should realize that the people in your life love you and they want to share their life with you. But if you are stressed and anxious, they need to know.

As far as freaking out when someone comes over, they come to see you and are not judging your space or your belongings. I had one visitor to my home open my medicine cabinet. Well, the next time she came over, I put marbles in it.

You must learn to feel comfortable when your neigbors and friends come over. You have what you have, be proud of it. What makes you happy is the most important! And as far as your son goes, first make him chocolate chip cookies. Do his laundry and make popcorn when he visits. He just wants to be home even when you don’t clean or stock up on groceries. Good luck, be proud of yourself. You are where you are, cherish it.

I am asking for help in explaining my feelings. Can you help me put it into kind words because it tears me up? I have a health condition and people have asked me what kind of flowers I like. But are they asking for now — or for my funeral? Please, I want to tell them to send flowers when I am alive, not when I am gone. I want to tell people to “visit now” — don’t wait for my funeral luncheon when I am in heaven praying for all of you to go on with your lives. I was glad to see your column so I can share this!

Thank you, Castle Annie!

I am very sorry of your health condition but you need to express this to your loved ones or tell them to read this because it comes from your heart now.

My niece Debbie smiled everyday, just because she was able to see the sun rise and to feel everyone’s love. We held back our tears and fought with her when she died.

When she was called home most of us were there. And that’s what she wanted. So all of you out there remember those words from Debbie: “Don’t send me flowers when I am gone, send them now.”

Reach out to your loved ones and ask any questions that you want to know about before they’re gone. Share and bring up the past and all the good times. Ask what their childhood was like, where did they work? In my opinion, this is the best way to act around the sick and the needy — just be there.

Take care of yourself the best way you can. You have love all around you.

God Bless You!

Ann Marie Kristen Noha is a resident of Nye County. Contact her with your questions at anmano3@outlook.com, or mail questions to Pahrump Valley Times, c/o Ann Marie; 1570 E. Highway 372; Pahrump, NV 89048